The Royal is so fortunate to have champions across our community and around the world who volunteer their time to support the incredible mental health care and research that helps provide hope and transform lives. We’re grateful to highlight these champions for mental health who use their platforms to help raise money and awareness.
Brianna Hamilton
I have lived with depression for so many years. There were some days when I was struggling with my depression that even taking a shower would seem to be an overwhelming task.
In January 2016 my intention was not to be here anymore and to take my own life. I had a full suicide plan in place.
As an Indigenous woman working in the community, I am extremely aware that suicide is an epidemic especially with our youth and I want to be a part of the change solutions. For anyone experiencing mental health struggles, your journey will provide a lot of knowledge and you will get to know yourself in such a deep way.
Looking back, I am very thankful my attempt to take my own life did not work out, but at that time I couldn’t see a future without being depressed.
The Royal played a part in my journey because I used to volunteer in the Forensic unit. I would go there weekly to bake and cook with the clients.
I have always admired The Royal and their part in helping those living with mental illness. I am thankful that they give people like myself opportunities such as this one to use our voice and help others. When people hear these stories or see other people struggling with their mental illness it signals to them that they are not alone.
With the second lockdown announced on April 2 (aka my birthday!), I suffered a bad depressive episode. I was almost close to ending it all again. However, I reached out to my parents, completed my coping strategies and ended up in a much better place.
I’m learning how to take better care of myself. You just have to hold on long enough and you will see it, despite how difficult it can be.
Danielle Viel
I started struggling with mental illness before I even knew what mental illness was. At eight years old, I started restricting food intake and obsessing about my body and weight. My eating disorder quickly became my life; there was simply no room for anything else. By my mid-twenties, it was completely out of control. I began spiraling into a deep depression. I delayed getting help until I could no longer function. I felt isolated, alone, lost and hopeless. I didn’t recognize myself. It affected every aspect of my life. It was only through the support of friends and family, access to community services and lots of hard work and kindness towards myself that I was able to regain my health.
Some of the best advice I ever received was offered to me by a professor who saw me struggling. He told me that one of the best treatments for coping with depression/anxiety symptoms is exercise. Because of his encouragement and support, moving my body has become one of the most invaluable assets to my mental wellness.
Fast-forward over a decade later; now having a son and a daughter of my own, I’m very conscious of the way I speak about my body, exercise, food and mental health with them. I try to lead by example by talking about my body positively, by normalizing food and moving my body every day through activities I enjoy. I talk to them about taking care of our mental health as much as we do our physical health and I encourage them to talk about their feelings.
I was introduced to The Royal a few years ago through a mentor who was working with the organization. She was instrumental in my journey to regain my self-confidence and self-worth, back when I was struggling the most.
There is nothing worse than feeling isolated and alone. I wish for anyone struggling to know that they are not alone, they don’t have to feel weak, ashamed or scared of admitting that they need help. My hope for them is that they reach out today to a friend, family member or a community organization to ask for help.
When I was finally able to accept that mental illness was a part of my life journey, it was almost as if I was able to take back my power. Mental illness no longer defined me.
Don’t wait. You’re worth it. You matter. You are good enough. You are loved.
Zak Green
I was fortunate in some respects. I was a smart kid. I did well in school. It was hubris though. I used that as a veneer to fool everybody into thinking I was okay. I did that successfully for a long time. I ended up being elected valedictorian of my graduating class – all while an addiction grew inside me.
Inside, I never felt like I really belonged. I felt restless, irritable and discontent. Drugs and alcohol were a solution before they were a problem. When I went away to university, drinking was a massive social lubricant. Drugs pumped me up such a level where I felt great and productive. Until I didn't. I never knew, throughout this whole time that I had become an addict. The world was giving me praise on the outside, but inside I was dying.
I continued to create this illusion for the outside world of who I was. I got a good job, cars, a home etc etc. I would control and manipulate the outside world’s perception of who I was. But you can’t keep those plates spinning forever. Eventually, I would have to twist, lie, and steal, to fuel my addiction. I was completely trapped.
There was so much guilt and shame but I couldn’t stop. Ultimately, I ended up disgracing myself professionally.
For me, when I lost my job, I lost my identity. In retrospect, it was the precise thing I needed. God has a way of doing that – giving us exactly what we need when we need it.
I am so grateful for my life now. I can be authentic for the first time. I’m 39. I have my own business but I don't have to wear a veneer of success. I can be vulnerable.
We're all people just trying to do our best. Sometimes, we are sick. We may not be perceiving things in the right way, and we don't have a sense of peace. That is all part of our unique journey, into growing along lines that just lead us into greater maturity, wisdom, and understanding. That is the real journey of life.
It’s easy to hide when you’re a white-collar addict. Easier than being the homeless guy. But just know, you don’t have to struggle. It’s way better on the sober side of life. Tough days for sure, but its worth it always.
We see faces of addiction, and we know what those look like. We rarely see faces of recovery, and what that's all about. We need professionals to step out of the shadows so others know it’s ok. It’s a disease. You’re not a bad person getting good, you’re a sick person getting well.
Illusive
Illusive is a local Ottawa based artist who has been pouring their heart and soul into creating emotive and meaningful pieces of art since 2019, through their company Illusive Artworks. They use art as a creative outlet for their own mental illness, while advocating for mental health.
“The opportunity to work with an organization like The Royal is monumental to me,” says Illusive. “I’m doing this creative work because I’m taking care of my own mental health, but also trying to encourage active mental health care in others.”
Illusive believes in the idea – counter to positivity culture – that it’s okay to struggle while taking care of your mental health and to embrace the difficult times.
“I like to embrace my darkness,” they say. “I struggle on almost a daily basis with intrusive thoughts, an eating disorder and anxiety – my brain is working against me, but I’m trying to love all those experiences for what they bring me, because I learn from them, I enrich myself by coming through them and every bad experience shows me what I can get through. Let’s find the positive in our struggles.”
Illusive’s father lives with bipolar disorder and substance use disorder and they say that The Royal was one of the few places that helped him. Their mother is also an artist.
“I’ve had a complicated relationship with creativity because of my mental health,” says Illusive. “Anxiety is one of my biggest issues, and within that, creativity was actually hard and didn’t feel good for a long time – especially growing up with my mother who is an incredibly gifted artist.”
Illusive pushed away from art and creativity in their young adult years, feeling as though their art was never good enough.
“There came a time when things got really bad for me and my mental health,” says Illusive. “I started needing a place for the ‘bad things’ to go. I would get a physical buildup of intrusive thoughts, depressive feelings – I feel it like a weight. I started to realize that when I put some of that negativity into a creative expression, the weight would lift a little bit. It didn’t matter what I would produce – I could whip the paint on the canvas.”
Illusive has found a new sense of power by finding enjoyment in the creative process.
“I found a way to look back at my own struggles with beauty,” they say. “When I have a painting that’s about a sad story, but it looks beautiful, that helps me feel better about the experience.”
The Royal Ottawa Foundation is so grateful to Illusive for collaborating with us on the beautiful cover art they created for this special insert.
“It really meant a lot to me to work on this piece, to create it, the process of thinking about everything The Royal means to me was a really powerful process for me as an artist, as well as a blessing of an opportunity.”
Instagram: illusive_artworks
Website: illusiveartworks.com
Email: illusive.artworks@gmail.com