Gone Too Soon: Turning Grief into Purpose | The Parents' Story

February 03, 2025
True

When they met on Halloween over 50 years ago, Ken and Ellen Parent envisioned a simple life with each other. They got married young and spent years making memories that could last a lifetime. One day, they embarked on a new adventure by starting their family – having two sons, Ryan and Andrew. 

Ken and Ellen never imagined that their lives would be defined by a tragedy of such magnitude. Losing one child is unthinkable, but losing both is unfathomable. Yet, through the darkest moments of grief, they found a way to channel their pain into purpose. 

Join Ken and Ellen in honouring their sons' legacies by helping support better access to mental health care and treatments for those who need it most. Donate today.

Remembering Ryan and Andrew

Ryan was a natural athlete with a bright future ahead of him. Excelling in both hockey and baseball, he had the honour of representing Canada in the World Peace Games in The Hague. Beyond sports, Ryan had an artistic eye and a heart for helping others. He saw the world through his camera lens and used his creativity to connect with people.

Photography was Ryan’s passion and his solace. He had a gift for capturing moments of vulnerability and hope. Despite sharing his unique vision with the world, Ryan quietly struggled with his mental health for years, battling undiagnosed bipolar disorder. Despite his efforts to manage his condition, Ryan ultimately died by suicide—one of the 12 Canadians who lose their lives to suicide every day.

Unlike his older brother, Andrew was a daredevil from a young age. From climbing trees, taking risks, and always finding ways to push boundaries – he had an extremely adventurous spirit. His charm and humor made him beloved by many. But beneath his vibrant personality, Andrew faced struggles of his own.

A devastating injury became the catalyst for his battle with addiction. After being prescribed opioid painkillers, he quickly developed a dependency on them that altered the trajectory of his life. The changes in Andrew were alarming, but like many others in similar situations, Ken and Ellen didn’t initially recognize the signs of addiction. As time passed, they tried to support Andrew the best they could as he fought to regain control of his life.

After working hard to gain control over his addiction, Andrew became a strong advocate for recovery, learning everything he could on speaking publicly about his journey. He was proud of his progress and dedicated himself to helping others battling addiction. However, fate dealt another cruel blow. One night, Andrew lost consciousness while driving. His vehicle rolled off the road, and he tragically lost his life. 

Turning Grief into Action

“I decided that I wasn’t going to get angry. It would’ve been very easy, but I thought ‘that wouldn’t do anything for me or anyone else in a similar situation’.” – Ellen 

Rather than let the anger and grief of losing both of their sons consume them, the Parents found their sense of purpose and chose to take action. They turned to The Royal— a national leader in life-saving mental health research and care. It was where Ryan had found hope, where he had told them, “I finally feel like I’m not alone.” That moment meant everything to Ken and Ellen and reinforced their commitment to supporting The Royal’s work. 

For almost two decades, Ellen has been an extremely dedicated and determined volunteer at The Royal, helping raise millions of dollars, including hosting an annual golf tournament with Ken. Through the Inspirational Golf Classic, they raised over $500,000 in just five years for suicide prevention research: a contribution that is truly making an impact for those who are at risk of, or who are impacted by suicide. They continue to build a legacy that ensures Ryan and Andrew’s struggles serve as catalysts for change by sharing their story and advocating for improved research and care at The Royal. They understand the importance of early intervention and want other families to have access to the support that they needed.

One leader of life-changing work in suicide prevention research is Dr. Zachary Kaminsky, the DIFD Mach-Gaensslen Chair in Suicide Prevention Research at The Royal. Dr. Kaminsky is a pioneering researcher whose innovative approaches are transforming care for the one in four Canadians living with mental illness. His work focuses on identifying biological markers for suicide prevention, enabling earlier intervention and saving lives. Learn more about Dr. Kaminsky's work in suicide prevention research here. 

Supporting research like Dr. Kaminsky’s helps create hope for families like Ken and Ellen’s and prevent future tragedies, helping transform the current reality—mental health care in Ontario is underfunded by $1.5 billion annually, leaving countless individuals without the support they desperately need.

collage of photos of Ryan and Andrew Parent

“Each life lost to suicide is a profound loss, highlighting the critical need to deepen our understanding of the biological underpinnings of this complex issue. With every breakthrough, we advance our ability to diagnose and treat mental illness and prevent suicide more effectively.” – Dr. Zachary Kaminsky

Breaking the Silence: Educating and Inspiring Others

Mental illness and addiction are often subjects that families hesitate to discuss. Ken and Ellen are determined to change that. By openly sharing their experiences, they hope to encourage conversations that could save lives.

Their message is clear: struggling with mental health or addiction is not a sign of weakness. Seeking help is essential, and families should support their loved ones without judgment.

A Legacy of Love

Though Ryan and Andrew are no longer physically present, their impact continues. Ken and Ellen ensure that their sons’ stories live on through the work they do. Every conversation, every dollar raised, and every life touched, and saved, by their advocacy is a testament to Ryan and Andrew’s legacy.

Ken and Ellen’s message to donors: “When you give to The Royal, you’re not just supporting research and care – you’re changing lives. You’re giving people a second chance. You’re offering hope to families who feel lost and alone. And you’re helping to build a world where mental health is treated with the care and compassion it deserves.”