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Early Struggles and a Growing Storm
Julia was born and raised in Ottawa alongside her twin sister Lauren and two brothers. Despite having a seemingly normal childhood, Julia’s journey with mental illness began at a very young age.
As early as six or seven years old, Julia noticed that something was different about herself. She often experienced bursts of anger that felt uncontrollable, throwing and kicking things in frustration. “I just had so much anger,” she says. “I was very aware of what was going on around me, probably more than a normal child. I had a lot of emotions.”
Even with a loving family, Julia’s internal struggles often left her feeling isolated. “It didn’t matter that I had family around me. I felt completely alone,” she says. By the time she entered middle school, severe bullying intensified her sense of alienation and isolation. The emotional toll became so overwhelming that she could no longer attend school regularly. Julia’s world grew smaller, her anger and depression were at an all-time high, and questions like “why me?” constantly crossed her mind. Julia’s early experience with symptoms of anxiety and depression is a stark reality for the majority, as an overwhelming 70% of people with mental illness see their symptoms begin before the age of 18.
The Breaking Point
Once in high school, Julia thought that maybe she had turned a corner. Especially in grades 9 and 10, as she experienced moments of relief and hope: “Grade 9 was super fun,” she recalls. “New friends and experiences allowed me to start fresh and write a new chapter.” However once Julia entered Grade 11, the cracks in her mental health widened. Physical symptoms like shortness of breath with severe and persistent nausea began to emerge, signaling deeper issues. She was so anxious and scared of being bullied that she couldn’t be in school without being physically sick. She was eventually diagnosed with panic disorder in addition to anxiety and depression.
“I thought about suicide a lot. A lot more than I even want to admit.”
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Julia felt like a passenger in her own life—her peers and sister were able to have “normal teenager” experiences, worrying only about boys and homework, while she found herself alone at the bottom of a deep and dark hole without any hope of getting out of it. “I felt like I was walking through the halls, and I was an alien, and I could see everyone else looking at me.” Julia shares. The darkness became all-encompassing. “I physically couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything. My depression was stronger than my will. I didn’t want to live anymore.” Julia truly believed the only way out of her despair was ending her own life—a tragic sentiment shared by far too many, with suicide being the second leading cause of death in young people in Canada.
The First Step Toward Wellness
Julia came to The Royal when she was 17. “To come here was very scary,” she admits. “Just taking that first step in the door was a really big deal. I knew at that moment my life was about to change.”
Julia was introduced to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), a therapeutic approach she had never tried before. CBT is a goal-oriented therapy that focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns, training the brain to approach situations with a more balanced perspective. “It taught me not to always think of the worst-case scenario which really helped with my anxiety,” Julia explains. “Slowly, I started to see that glimmer of hope. I wasn’t stuck anymore. This wasn’t the end.” Julia’s experience with CBT gave her the tools to work through the overwhelming emotions that would have once incapacitated her—including her severe agoraphobia (excessive fear of places or certain situations) when it came to situations such as taking public transit or being in large crowds.
Julia’s message to donors: "Support for The Royal means giving patients access to a treatment that works for them. So that their journey is easier than mine was. We have the power to change someone’s life, just like The Royal saved mine."
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Finding Strength and Purpose
“For the first time in my life, I feel I have a purpose. I am in control of my life.”
Today, Julia’s life is very different. While she continues to use the tools and support systems she developed during therapy, she feels a newfound confidence and sense of purpose. “I want to be the best version of Julia for my family,” she says. “I feel like I’m finally where I need to be.”
Her journey wasn’t easy, and there were moments when giving up felt like the only option. However, Julia’s story highlights the importance of taking that first step, even when it feels impossible. “Seeking help was the scariest thing I’ve ever done,” she reflects. “But it saved my life.” Her wellness journey has not been linear. It requires constant work but now that she has the right tools, Julia feels a lot more at peace.
Julia will soon be graduating from Algonquin College and starting her career in public relations–a milestone she never thought possible before coming to The Royal. With the right support, tools, and perseverance, it is possible to find light even in the darkest moments, just like Julia did.
Julia’s outcome was ultimately a positive one but it had another real, and heartbreaking alternative. An alternative that claims the lives of 12 Canadians every day. The rates of suicide for young people in Canada are devastating, highlighting the critical need for advancing cutting-edge research in suicide prevention. Learn more about how The Royal is bringing us closer to a future without suicide.